The thought occurred to me during my (phone) session with my therapist today. She said “The future’s an illusion and the past is gone. So all you should worry about is the here and now… Because worrying about anything else REALLY doesn’t make sense!”. All I could think in that moment was ‘I know that!’… So why is it that I can’t live my life accordingly? Why do I need to be reminded of something I already know?
I mean, I’m an expert at telling other people what to do in times of need – so I must ‘know’ these things, right? Is it that I don’t see myself like I see everyone else? I guess this is where my double standards and low self-esteem/confidence comes in (AGAIN!). See, I don’t think I’m “better” or “worth more” than anyone else – I think we’re all good (though not necessarily at the same things) and that we’re all equal – … But I’d also be more than comfortable sitting here, telling you that I think everyone else deserves to be happy. I know I do too… But I feel other people should come before me. How’s that for someone who really thinks we’re ‘all the same’? I know…It’s mad!
It just goes to show there’s a reason for my seeing a therapist. If I’m completely honest, I think it’s the best thing that could’ve happened to me! And I really think it’s something everyone should have access to – So long as they are prepared and willing to work on themselves and are prepared to realize things about themselves that may not be all that nice. Because you will find out a few truth, believe me! Some that you already know…some that you DON’T. But I really do think it’s important to work on your relationship with yourself before you drag anyone else into the equation….
Anyway, I’m off – To learn a few more things I already know (and there’s nothing wrong with that!)…