Vicious Cold Sweeps Over Suburbia – Victims Left Drained Of Energy

Reports just in this fine Sunday claim that the cold that swept in over suburbia on Thursday keeps a steady hold in its victims.

At number 28, the only inhabitant reported to suffer is the female lodger. “Under NO circumstances would I call this a ‘manflu’ – I don’t get man flues! – and I’m not feeling sorry for myself but this is a joke! The weather’s nice, I want to be out walking! Instead I’m sat inside – with NO energy – my head so heavy it feels like some mine whacked me over the head with s big, heavy fish! I hate colds!… But I must admit my voice is kind of sexy…” The young woman said, clearly frustrated having taken the Friday off work thinking that would be just what she needed to recover.

It is unknown how long this seemingly stubborn cold is intending to stay. All of its victims are, however, reported to be fed up at this point.

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