When You Realise That What You Want And What You Need Are Two Very Different Things…

As a few of you know, and I’m sure many of you have guessed, I’m still very much single and ‘loving my life of freedom’. But as much as I haven’t actively been looking for a boyfriend, I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been times in the last couple of months when I’ve really (REALLY) wanted one.

But, a week and a bit ago, something happened. I’m not going to go into any boring details about what but, it was something that made me realise I’m not quite as over something/someone as I thought I was. What happened bothered me way more than I thought it would (even if it didn’t bother me in the way I’d expected it to)… And it was enough to make me realise that what I actually NEED is to be alone. Not forever but until I’ve gotten over this. It wouldn’t be fair to bring someone new into the emotional roller coaster that is my life as long as my feelings for someone else are still bothering me… Isn’t it annoying when you think you’re fine only to realise you’re not but can’t figure out for the life of you WHY you’re actually bothered and WHAT you’re actually feeling abut the person in question (and it’s like you’re feeling every emotion under the sun at the same time)?! *deep breath*

Deep down inside, I think I knew I wasn’t 100% over it all along. Maybe that’s why, subconsciously, I haven’t ‘put myself out there’ to find someone properly… At the end of the day, as much as I may WANT a boyfriend, right now, what I NEED is to be on my own until I’ve figured this out… I don’t know how long it will take but I know I’ll get there eventually…

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