I was proud of who I’d become, thinking I’d come a long way. Then something happened – I allowed another person’s actions to hurt me.
What they did is not important. The point is I was SO disappointed by what the person did, that I felt I had to ‘hit back’. In addition to the disappointment I already felt, I started feeling disappointed with myself as well. It would be easy to blame alcohol and other people meddling, but the bottom line is, I and I alone am responsible for how I let another person make me feel. I know it, and I try to live by it. HOWEVER, it’s also important to acknowledge that emotions are more difficult to control when you care about someone. See, I believe people you like/care about have the power to hurt you in ways over people don’t. I guess some people would call caring a weakness. I don’t agree. Caring makes me who I am – When I start caring about someone I never stop and when I love, I love unconditionally.
So I don’t believe caring is the issue for me… It’s letting a tiny moment of disappointment ruin the progress I’ve made. I need to learn to care without sacrificing my own well-being… Without letting it compromise my confidence in myself. In the meantime, I guess I just have to cut myself some slack… We all mess up sometimes, right?