News just in from Number 28 this evening report of rumours that a life has been claimed.
Witnesses on the scene are said to only have realised something was wrong when the young lodger exclaimed “All I did was try to make soup! Is this what I get for trying to be healthy?”
By the time investigators finally arrived on the scene, it had already been established that a severe incident, involving soup-making, had claimed the life of a blender. It remains unclear whether the cause of death was only exhaustion due to strenuous activity alone or whether another cause is involved.
Due to the young woman’s brief affair with the victim, she remains a suspect but continues to plead her innocence. “Why would I break it on purpose? In the excitement of our ‘whirlwind romance’, I threw away the f****in’ receipt! It’s not like I can even get a replacement…”