Attack Of The Baby Spinach!

Just after lunchtime today, a young woman is reported to have suffered a severe violation.

Already feeling vulnerable and exposed – having accidentally left her accessories at home – the young woman fo he herself severely distressed when attacked on her lunch break. The perpetrator of this attack has been confirmed as the baby spinach included in the young woman’s lunch. “It just kept flying out the container!” 

Sources have yet to confirm rumours that the young woman’s rice came to her rescue. Meanwhile, witnesses in the scene are able to confirm that the attach was NOT the young woman’s attempt to scare off an uninvited ‘lunch buddy’. “She’d rather throw a fit than risk staining her dress.”

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