Mysterious Disappearance Of Local Bum

The last couple of days a search has been underway in suburbia. The object of the search is rumoured to be a certain young woman’s backside!
“We can confirm that we are conducting a search.” Said the lead investigator. “It is, however, early days yet as we are still trying to ascertain when said behind was actually seen.”

While the search is being carried out, the owner of the bum, a certain young woman in her late 20s, is still recovering from the shock “I swear it was there a month ago… But I’m not sure when it left. I’ve been so busy! I just haven’t had a chance to check.”

Meanwhile, speculations are flying around, claiming that the bum evacuated the ‘premises’ when the young woman cut out sugar, alcohol, caffeine, dairy, gluten & soya about a month ago. A source close to the bum, as well as the young woman said “It always was a stickler for ‘the good in life’ – cake, biscuits, crisps, pasta, cheese, lattes, wine etc – no wonder it took off!”

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