Young Woman Wrongly (Self) Diagnosed With Delirium & A Dirty Mind  

In the early working hours of this morning, a certain young office worker is said to have wrongly diagnosed herself with both delirium and a dirty mind – and taken it back again within the space of a minute!

According to witnesses – a rather ratty stapler and a wonky paper clip – the first cup of coffee of the day was still being drunk, and brains were slowly waking up, when the incident occurred. The young woman reportedly asked a younger member of staff if he could do something for her to which he agreed – unintentionally triggering the young woman’s ‘self diagnosis’.

“It was only because I thought I heard him reply ‘Sure. I’ll go and w*nk one off…’ With a straight face… I thought I must have misheard him…. Until I looked over at our temp and she couldn’t stop giggling! Funnily enough, that’s when he realised what he’d actually said as well!”

After 5 minutes of hysterical laughter, peace, calm and seriousness has now reportedly ascended over the team. The male member of staff is also said to have remained more quiet than usual.

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